How I Fell Back Into The Mindlessness Trap

By Rob Dack

I’ve never been much of a runner.  I tried it a few times when I was a teenager in high school, then once more just after I got married, but it never really seems to be something I enjoyed.  Runs were too long, took too long to get ready for, and made me hot and sweaty and messy for an hour afterwards.  The list of excuses went on and on.  My thirties passed, and here I am half way through my forties, and finally, that runner’s bug has hit me.

A major reason for this is because, instead of looking at running as something that ate up my time before, it became an opportunity to mindfully spend my time, finding that comfortable running pace, feeling the rhythmic beat of my footsteps as they hit the pavement, the sound of nature around me as the kilometers passed.  I found running and practicing my mindfulness to be a wonderful synergy, one feeding the other, making both better in return.  Thus, my passion for running was born.

I’ve only recently worked my way up to being able to run more than a couple of kilometers without stopping for a break.   Once I did, I moved my runs to a lovely local trail that offered views of ponds, forests, rolling hills and farmland where cattle roam.  The nice thing about the run that I do is that it has some nice ways to mark the distance as I go. I run 2km one direction, passing a small dirt road that crosses the path at about the 1km mark, and then at exactly the 2km mark, it hits a well-traveled road, where I turn around and run the 2km back. That small dirt road, on the way back marks the 3/4 mark of my run, so I keep a look out for it, and I pick up my pace a bit and finish strong.

I begin my run, pumped and eager to establish a new personal record.  I was on a good pace, and hit the 2km mark, so I turned around, as planned – good so far. I run, noting the rain may be starting soon – the clouds are getting darker, the humidity rising. Surprisingly, no bugs, which makes me very happy, and not a single other runner so far – the path is all mine to this point. So I watch for that dirt road, run some more, continue watching, run some more…it’s not appearing. Strange – I passed it on my way here – I must be mistiming where I am in my run. I’ll stay patient and wait for it to appear, keeping a close eye out for it.

Running a bit more, I see something in the distance? The dirt road? Am I at my 3/4 point already, and ready to being my final stretch? No – it was my finish line, where my car is parked, waiting for me. This throws me off completely – not only did I completely miss the dirt road marker, but I missed my opportunity to up my pace, to finish strong, and this bothers me.

It bothers me because I lost my focus. Instead of the run being about enjoying my time outside, practicing my mindfulness, and getting in a good workout, it became more about finding the signposts in my run.  I had fallen back into the mindlessness that I had lived with for forty years very easily, and temporarily reverted to the person I used to be, one that didn’t pay attention, that couldn’t see an opportunity if it hit him in the face.  The kind of person that could miss an entire road.

I had run my first uninterrupted four kilometer run, on a beautiful path, on a perfect summer day, and because of my failure to pay attention, I was bothered and unhappy about it.  I had turned what should have been a motivating, positive experience into something that shook me enough that I had to write this article about it.  I had glimpsed once again at the man I used to be.  He had managed to sneak back into my life, and he was not welcome here.

I realized at that moment that it will be an ongoing challenge to maintain being the person I want to be.  Being mindful, and all the benefits that go with it, require my daily habits to change, so that I can incorporate it into my lifestyle.  Failure to change these habits, to continue to put mindfulness into everything I do, will most likely result in my reversion to my old self.  It requires me to constantly pay attention, not only to the world around me and appreciating the moment, but to watch my own internal mechanism, to make sure the lazy way of thinking is not creeping back in.

Daily meditation, reflection on the day’s events, appreciating the good things that happened today – these are all things that I need to continue to do, so that I make them my normal practice.  Surrounding myself with good, positive people, ones that appreciate the here and now, that aren’t attached to their phones as we talk, is important.  These changes must become part of who I am, so they become my normal way of being, as easy as breathing comes to me.

I’m committed to continuously adding new, positive habits into my everyday life, and to living the mindful life as best I can.  I’ve seen what can happen when I allow myself to become mentally lazy, and I’m consciously choosing not to allow that to happen.  I’m aware the man I once was is waiting patiently inside of me, looking constantly for a weakness in order to reassert himself.

Within each of us lies a choice, one of mindful, positive life, or mundane, short term view living.  I’ve lived both lives, and the clear winner is obvious to me.  Mindfulness has allowed me to appreciate things in my life I’ve never been able to notice, let alone enjoy.  Now that I’ve experienced that, and know that the ability to see life this way lies in the way I choose to live, the decision is clear.  Each choice I make, each action I take, should reflect the values that mindfulness has taught me, for I have seen very clearly now that if I lose that mindfulness, even for a moment, it can have an immediate, negative impact.

Within each of us lies a choice: to live mindfully and positively, or to live with a mundane, short-term view. I’ve lived both lives, and the clear winner is obvious to me.  Mindfulness has allowed me to appreciate things in my life I’ve never been able to notice, let alone enjoy.  Now that I’ve experienced that, and know that the ability to see life this way lies in the way I choose to live, the decision is clear.  Each choice I make, each action I take, should reflect the values that mindfulness has taught me. For I have seen very clearly that if I lose that mindfulness, even for a moment, it can have an immediate, negative impact. Tempered with patience and self-compassion to allow myself the time and acceptance to make these types of changes, I’m confident I have a bright and joyous future ahead.

So, don’t worry about looking for your dirt road markers in life.  Enjoy the run.  Enjoy the journey, and be mindful through to the end.


Find Rob’s regular blog here.

The following two tabs change content below.
Our aim is to promote mindfulness.
About Admin

Our aim is to promote mindfulness.

Comments

  1. That’s great Rob. I have just started running again myself and am experimenting with the difference mindful running vs “ticking off the signposts to the run being over” is making. Or using the time to plan my day – both of which sap the presence from the moment. It was lovely to read about your experience.

  2. Thanks for the feedback, Kellie. Hopefully my experiences can help others use Mindfulness more effectively in settings other than controlled or meditative ones. And keep on running!

  3. Take a highlighter or red pencil and draw a line through all the “I’s” and “me’s” in your piece. Gather them all up and leave them home on your next run. In fact loose them forever. It is very difficult to experience anything mindful when you are carrying all of that bureaucracy. True mindfulness has no “I” or “me”. They take up too much space. Just saying….

  4. Somehow I hit on reading your article – I am the mid 30’s person who would love to run. Your connecting it with mindfulness is interesting to me. However, there are several things I query about what you have written, and was hoping to explore.
    What I noticed particularly was your missing the marker and what conclusions you drew about what that meant for your mindfulness practise. Who says you “failed to pay attention”? Perhaps you were being mindful of your body, your mind or something else at the time the marker passed… Mindfulness does not require you to take in everything all the time – the mind is simply not wired to do so.
    So, perhaps you did lose your mindfulness for a while – what I noticed in your post was the way you reacted to that. Returning again and again is always a part of being mindful, every breath, every moment, again and again; we all will, at some stage or another, get caught up by the money mind . I try very hard to just notice this, with interest and non-judgement, with compassion. I believe noticing with compassion to be very, very important, otherwise it just becomes another opportunity for the “ego” to be disparaging! “…. if I lose that mindfulness, even for a moment, it can have an immediate, negative impact…” – I believe it will only have a negative impact if you judge it to be so. Have you tried loving kindness meditations, or insight meditations focussing on how you react to your thoughts? With a non-judgemental, acceptance, beginners mind, compassion. All of these I have found to be a very beneficial foundation in how I treat myself in the context of mindfulness… Thanks for reading 🙂